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But the invalidation of our sexualities only grows when bisexual individuals don’t express their gender identities in conventional ways.

There are spaces for gay men, lesbian women, bisexual women, and trans women to express femininity.

Here’s the trouble: While femininity can be dangerous for gay men, it is somewhat expected of them—a form of behavior or mode of self-presentation they are “allowed.” For bi guys like me, even a little femininity threatens to erase our entire identity. Both the straight and LGBTQ community regularly speculate on the veracity of my sexuality.

I am told I don’t exist or that I’m going through a phase.

Aside from confusing people with regard to my sexuality, it also hurts my chances with straight women. (If anything, our relationship was far more physical than anything else.) “Then what’s the deal?